Man insists on being put on girlfriend's mortgage despite not contributing anything financially, she puts her foot down, leading to a strain in their relationship: 'Don't make it difficult'

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Feb 1, 2025 9:00 PM EST

How do you determine when a relationship is ready to be taken to the next level?

Nowadays, it's harder to say when a couple should 'level up' their relationship. If you go back a few decades ago, the steps of the relationship ladder were pretty straightforward – You meet, date for 4-6 months, get engaged, get married around 6 months after that, buy a house, and then immediately start having kids. In a span of two years, most couples are married, homeowners, and parents. People didn't really have time to dwell on things, everything happened very quickly.

But these days, couples want to make sure that they feel confident in the relationship they are in and are 100% ready for a commitment of any kind. That leads couples to date for years before they even talk about marriage or kids, while they also keep big commitments, like buying a house, all for themselves.

Whether you agree with modern couples taking things slow, or whether you think our grandparents were the ones who did things right, we want to know what you think of the couple in the story below.

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  • This story was written by a woman who decided she was ready to buy a house on her own. However, her boyfriend of two years feels like he needs to be included in this purchase, even though he doesn't plan to contribute to it financially. 

    This led to a whole discussion about the relationship, and the idea of long-term commitment. An idea that, as we all know, modern couples have a tendency to steer clear of.

  • "This is an unfair expectation" D
    via 89Stocker

  • "My Boyfriend is Upset i won’t put him on the Mortgage."

    I (26M) have been saving for years and finally reached a point where I can start looking for houses. This has been a personal goal of mine, and I'm super excited
    via Appropriate-Way416
  • about it. But ever since I mentioned it, my boyfriend (23M) has been acting off. He's implied multiple times that he should be added to the mortgage if he's going to live there with me.
    via Appropriate-Way416
  • The thing is, he hasn't contributed any savings or a deposit. I've tried to explain that this is something I've worked hard for, and I'm not comfortable putting him on
    via Appropriate-Way416
  • the mortgage, especially since we've only been dating for two years. Now he's asking repeatedly, almost as if it's something I
    via Appropriate-Way416
  • owe him, and his attitude about it is putting me off. I want him to be happy for me, but instead, he seems upset and left out. I feel torn because I don't want to make
    via Appropriate-Way416
  • him unhappy, but I also feel like this is an unfair expectation. Am I being unreasonable for wanting to keep the mortgage in my name?
    via Appropriate-Way416
  • coldtoes 1967 Absolutely not. To be crass his behavior is - "why buy the cow when you can get the WHOLE FARM for free?"
    via coldtoes1967
  • Jolly-Sympathy-312 DO NOT DO IT! I bought my home when I was 21, and my boyfriend at the time was 27. He was jealous and wanted his name on it as well. I put if off for a long time, and then we had a
    via Jolly-Sympathy-312
  • terrible breakup regarding other things. Had I placed his name on my home that he put no money into and was also not helping pay the mortgage, I would be going to court over my home.
    via Jolly-Sympathy-312
  • I really only think you should. sign both names on something when you're married, and even then, it could go wrong.
    via Jolly-Sympathy-312
  • Do not do it. It's your home. You paid for it. Even if he helps pay the mortgage, he is more so a tenant, so if it doesn't work out, he has no ownership.
    via Jolly-Sympathy-312
  • Cheezburger Image 10461709312
    via studioroman

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • marbiter01123581321 This is 'get a new partner' behavior.
    via marbiter01123581321
  • GemGlamourNGlitter Why put him on it? You aren't married. If you break up, it will be a hassle.
    via GemGlamourNGlitter
  • Far_Information_9613 NTA. He is a gold digger. Don't make it difficult to get rid of him.
    via Far_Information_9613
  • Asailors Thoughts20 He's wanting husband privileges but is just the boyfriend. Absolutely not.
    via Asailors_Thoughts20
  • Overall Village3649 Honestly, I get why he might feel left out, but at the end of the day, you've been working for this for years and he hasn't put in the same effort. Relationships are about
    via Overall_Village3649
  • balance, not entitlement. If he can't respect your boundaries now, that's a huge red flag. You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to keep your hard- earned goal to yourself!
    via Overall_Village3649
  • Turbulent Ebb5669 Oh, this again. Back on the Merry-go-round. Those who pay go on the mortgage. Those who don't need to start sorting out their lives.
    via Turbulent_Ebb5669
  • Unlikely-Nobody-677 Offer him a very reasonable month to month rental agreement
    via Unlikely-Nobody-677

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boyfriend relationship advice aita drama house homeowner relationship-drama reddit story relationships girlfriend advice mortgage cheating couples love Reddit dating
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